Funny Monday Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2018

Wedding Anniversary is the day on which two people celebrated their love and promises each other to be in a relationship for a long time. This day is being celebrated by the husband and wife in the very special way and they promise each other that they will continue celebrating their anniversary till the last breath of their life. There are different traditions or way to celebrate anniversary in different parts of the world. Wedding Anniversary quotes are a poignant and eloquent reminder that in marriage we are greater than the sum of our parts. Marriage is a so special thing to a person who get involve in it and make sweet memories with their partner. Wedding Anniversary is the time when people look back to their sweet memories that they spent together. They simply lack the time to come up with the words to express all that they have in mind. That is why the anniversary is a much awaited occasion for the couple. People do lots of loving things on the day of their anniversary.

Cracking a Birthday Joke | Huge List of Funny Birthday Messages and Wishes

Mother nature doing the twist! One Liner Weather Jokes 2 What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? You make my temperature rise.

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10 things to NEVER say to a nurse

I loved my stay there! Of course I had in my head some of portuguese stereotypes as: The portuguese women have mustache, everybody smell like bacalhau, everybody likes Fado, they are explorers and have so much story to tell us… and so on. She hosted me and push me to explore Lisboa in a deep way. Their reaction is almost always one.

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Now I know why Solomon had wives Because he never met you. For you I would slay two Goliaths. You float my ark. Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you? So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and I realized I don’t have yours! I didnt believe in predestination until tonight. The word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’ I know its absurd, but every time I walk towards you, it feels like I’m being lead to Bethlehem.

My spiritual gift is my good looks I would part the red sea for you.

Memes is Life.

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The Problems With Being Single. Wednesday, September 11, Hello guys! So you know how you sometimes go to work on a Monday feeling all revved up for the week ahead? I can’t say I’m very familiar with this feeling either. But today two days ago I tend to procrastinate , I left my house with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. Okay you caught me. That was an exaggeration. It would have been more accurate to say that I left my house without dragging my feet and having dread written all over my face.

You know what they say! For quite a long time now. I feel that it is important to point this out because I still get questions asking me how XXX is doing. Well guys, I don’t know how much more blatant I must be in announcing my status. I mean, I took all the necessary steps didn’t I?

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The ad featured a male Packers fan and a male Vikings fan reaching into the same bowl of chips at the same time, and after a brief pause, passionately kissing and dry humping each other, much to the surprise of the other man present. The advertisement was initially put on a waiting list before the network outright rejected it due to it violating CBS’s broadcast standards and because CBS believed ManCrunch’s did not have sufficient credit ability to pay for the ad.

ManCrunch accused CBS of discrimination saying, “If the ad showed a man and woman kissing it would have been accepted.

How to Make Someone Feel Better Via Text Message. It can be hard to cheer up someone you care about when you’re not face-to-face. However, texting can be a powerful tool! Try sending them a good joke or hysterical meme to put a smile on.

If I am ever drunk, you’ll be damn good looking. Oh this is coming from the poster child for abortions? Oh this is coming from the one who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down? Optional way to say it: I can get plastic surgery to fix my ugliness, you on the other hand will be stupid for eternity. I don’t know what makes you stupid, but it really works! Oh my god it spoke!!!!

If I wanted a bitch I would’ve bought a dog! You have a face not even a mother could love Hey your village called they want you back by 6! Who pissed in your cheerios? You make the guys on Jackass look like Einstein The only thing offending me is your face I would call you a retard but that would be insulting to retards.

Welcome to Top Funny Jokes!

This way you’re laughing with them, not at them. It has always been very easy for me to use some good fat jokes in my presentations. The real trick here is to tell a fat joke that is funny, not embarassing.

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To thank the pros who crunch the numbers so we don’t have to, we polled accountants and auditors and scoured the web to round up 25 jokes that only accountants will love. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts. What does CPA stand for? Do you know where your auditor is? Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him. What do you call an accountant with an opinion?

Why did the accountant cross the road?

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Not your original work? Add source Survivors of a mass shooting in Parkland, Florida, returned from spring break to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and were greeted by new security measures. Among other new regulations, the school staff provided the students with the newest mandatory accessories: The administration claims that this regulation will boost safety, but the students hate it.

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But because you should hear the exciting news from that person again, if it’s someone you care about in the first place , not through a third-person congratulatory status update. The opposite works too. They say you’re not supposed to discuss politics and religion in polite conversation. But you should talk about them. It’s important to share your beliefs.

Or what their favorite cartoon as a childhood says about them? Or any number of a billion other quizzes that are easily shared on Facebook and clog up your feed. And you already hid her Farmville updates from your feed. Do you really want your ex-BF knowing everything about your life without him? That doesn’t sound healthy. Do you want to have to impress your ex-GF with how much better your life is without her?

Sure, you could unfriend them, but then you’re “rude.

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These Dogs Are Willing To Do ANYTHING To Get Their Burgers. ANYTHING (Memes).

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